i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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