okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Randomize
