my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Terrible idea I love it
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
