I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
