Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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