So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
