Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
