Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
