I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
