Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
