Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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