margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
