Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
