To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i was born a porn star she said
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
