Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
