i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize