Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize