I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize