My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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