k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
smell my finger.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
