Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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