She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize