Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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