he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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