After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
