Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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