He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
