I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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