the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize