dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This can only be settled by a dance off.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
