if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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