Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
