your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
