Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
