i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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