What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
