no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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