I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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