saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
