anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
