you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
