Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
