why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
