Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
