i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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