May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
