i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
