Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
