she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
