how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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