Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
