Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its about making memories worth repressing
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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