we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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