Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
