Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
