I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize