dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She needs sedatives and a leash
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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