She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
