He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
