if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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